For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
As I get older and my children start to leave the nest, I find myself in a deeply reflective mode. I have been looking back at my life, analyzing how I have spent the time God has blessed me with thus far. I can honestly say that I have spent the last 18 years or so on the grind. Always rushing. Rushing to get to work, rushing to get to the grocery store before work, rushing to get the girls to school on time in the morning after working until 2am the night before. Even when working in the ministry it was always a grind. Rushing to meet deadlines, contending with the administration to fund the ministry, rushing to endless meetings to discuss the same issues over and over again. It all became such a chore, to the point of displeasure. I spent more time meeting and less time praying. Somehow, in all of the rushing and running, I lost myself and quite frankly, lost my way. My devotion time with God began to suffer. I was spending less time studying the Word and even less time in serious prayer. I prayed, but did not spend that quality time in the presence of the Lord seeking His will for me and asking Him to change anything in me that was not pleasing to Him. My sincere pursuit of God and His will for me waned, and it became evident in my attitude and the decisions I made.
I have spent some time on the threshing floor, on the anvil, allowing God to make and mold me. The process of God winnowing away the things that are not like Him is as amazing thing to witness and experience. I am still in a redevelopment stage and God has showed me His grace and mercy through it all. He has control and I am blessed to just follow. While in this mode God has placed in my life several people for me to minister to on a continual basis. It is amazing to me the number of people whom I have witnessed to and then had the privilege of continuing to discuss the Word. They are open and desire to know the Lord more intimately, and to learn His precepts. It is a beautiful thing to behold. This burden of discipling people in the faith is an awesome task, one that quite frankly, I am not worthy of. But no one but God could have placed these people in my life, and so I am praying daily for the Holy Spirit to give me the words to say as well as the way in which to present it.
There has long been a longing in my heart and spirit to minister to people. I always thought that - that primarily took place within the confines of a church. I have visions of a church where the true spirit of the Lord dwells. Where people would come in and be saved, transformed, healed and delivered. A place where we would bring folk to Christ, through our example, deeds, prayer and teaching of the Word. It has literally broken my heart to see the legalism which Jesus spoke out against so vehemently, set up residence in the church. To see the havoc and broken relationship that legalism leaves in its wake is devastating. It has restored such joy and hope in my heart to be able to present Jesus in all of his beauty, with His offering of joy, love, forgiveness and hope to those who are broken and lost, without having to battle the constant living examples of contradiction. In spite of all of that, to see the process of people’s liberation in Christ, is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
The great hymn “I Need Thee Every Hour” is one that has profoundly ministered to me lately - “I need Thee, Oh I need Thee. Every Hour I need Thee. Oh, bless me now my Savior, I come to Thee”. We must come to Him for everything. We cannot operate in our own strength, nor can we depend on ourselves. He tells us in John 15:5 that “apart from Me you can do nothing”. We must recognize that our hope is in Jesus Christ and that it is in Him that we live, move and have our being. Decisions, thoughts, actions, separate from Him will ultimately fail us. I recognize my need for Him every second of every minute of every hour of the day. I seem to be at a crossroad and I am going to wait at that fork in the road until God reveals to me which way to go. Waiting at that intersection is a difficult, yet humbling experience. But I am going with Him all the way. I encourage you to do the same. Do not be discouraged by what you see others doing. Do not be discouraged by those who are professed Christians that do not operate in truth. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. That is why your ultimate example of who and what to be is Jesus Christ. The only man that was without sin, the only one worthy to die as a perfect sacrifice for the sin of the world. Continue to seek God, do not stop your pursuit of Him. Slow down, make your time with God a priority above everything else. God has a plan for you. Ask Him what His purpose is for you within His kingdom and then live in that purpose. Seek Him - Wait on Him - and Trust Him.
Be blessed.......
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