Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Wretch Like Me.......

The more I seek God, the more He reveals to me about myself. It is amazing how God moves and works in the lives of His children. My study, devotion and prayer life have continued, however, I have not been attending church. In fact, I haven't been to church since April. This past Sunday my husband simply told me that I needed to get up and go to church - so I did. I had been struggling, asking the Lord to please change my heart, mind and my tongue. My prayer was for help in tuning out every voice but His so that I could learn of Him and grow. As sincere as I believe my worship is, I was beginning to wonder if God was accepting it. Was He pleased with me? I am so unworthy. A wretch. I longed for some perspective on my thoughts and feelings. He spoke to me through a preacher at Calvary Chapel. I had never attended this church before but found myself driving down the 405 freeway, south bound to Costa Mesa, California on a beautiful Sunday morning. God met me there and spoke directly to me.

The preacher preached on the intimacy in which God has relationship with His children. I needed desperately to be reminded of how perfectly He knows us, and always has each one of us on His mind. We are His creation. We are His children and nothing can separate us from His love for us. No matter who we are He loves us. When others cast us out, He extends a hand of love, grace and mercy. God has really led me to look inward. To take a good hard look at myself. I believe that in one of my earlier posts I mentioned the fact that God revealed some things that were in my heart that I did not like, and more importantly, that He did not like. There was no running from it, however, the mistake I was making was in looking at myself through my eyes and not through the eyes of God. Seeing myself in His reflection allowed me to see my error, ask for forgiveness, and then ask for His precious Holy Spirit to aid me in truly turning away from even every thought that sought or seeks to exalt itself above Him. The preacher used several scriptures in his sermon that day but Matthew 10:29-31 was what spoke to me:
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  God's intimate and loving relationship with us is so very beautiful. When i am witnessing to people on the street, He was there. When I was talking badly about my neighbor, He was there. When I was in the hospital giving birth to our son, who had no heart beat and no breath in his body, He was there. When I was less than compassionate towards another child of God, He was there. The eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding both the good and the evil. And so, the omnipresence of God is both comforting and convicting. A loving Father who knows every hair on my head and then assures me that He takes care of even the sparrow - so how much more then does he care for even a wretch like me.......

If you do not know God and have not accepted Jesus Christ as savior, then I invite you to accept Him and the truth of His Gospel right now. I don't know what I would do without Him. My life has meaning because of Him. You having nothing to lose but everything to gain. Ask Him with a sincere heart - Lord, if you are who you say you are, reveal yourself to me right now. When He does,  do NOT reject that revelation. He stands at the door of your heart knocking....answer.

Be blessed...................

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Offer Christ.....

If I can help somebody as I travel along.  If I can help somebody with a word or song.  If I can help somebody from doing wrong.  Then my living shall not be in vain......Mahalia Jackson

My girls and I were coming home from church one evening.  I stopped for gas on the corner of Adams and Figueroa.  As I exited my vehicle to pump gas I was approached by a gentleman asking for money.  As he approached my car he assured me that he meant no harm.  I told him that I didn't think that he did.  As my gas pumped, he began to tell me his story. Charles Began to tell me his story.  I listened intently as he told me about how he was laid off the year prior and lost his apartment as a result.  He was unable to find work.  He became depressed and started to abuse alcohol and eventually ended up living on the street.  He went from being gainfully employed to homeless in the matter of a few months.  At this point my gas tank was full and the girls were looking at me as if to say "can we please go".  I was at the pump another 30 minutes - listening to Charles pour his heart out - and quite articulately I might add.

Charles had been living in the alley way in between the Mobile Gas Station and the First Lutheran Church.  He spent his days panhandling, hoping that someone would give him some change for pumping their gas or washing their windows.  One day, he approached a man to offer his services.  He explained that he was in a foul mood that day and was really feeling sorry for himself.  He had watched people go in and out of the church next door and wondered how God could be so close, yet so out of reach.  He was talking to himself, complaining about his condition and using foul language.  The man approached Charles to encourage him, and told him that he was the store manager of CVS Drug Store.  He told Charles that he would grant him an interview for a job opening and gave him a time and date.  Charles had lived in the alley way for some time and was known by the gas station employees.  One of them brought him clean clothes, allowed him to wash in the gas station bathroom, and gave him bus fare to get to CVS for his interview.  Charles interviewed and was offered the job.

When I met Charles at the gas station that night, he had just completed his first 6 weeks of work.  He told me that being employed again gave him a sense of accomplishment and worth.  He took his first paycheck and used it all to put a deposit on a studio apartment.  "It's only one tine room.  I don't have any furniture.  But it's home".  He then pulled a single silver key out of his pocket, showed it to me and said that - that key meant everything to him.  I asked him why he was back at the gas station asking for money.  He was shaven and had slacks and a shirt on.  He explained to me that because he had spent all of his check on the apartment, he did not have any money left over for bus fare to get to work - but that he was not complaining.  He needed to make it to work one more week, at which time he would receive his check and be on track.  

I thanked him for sharing his story with me and that God had truly delivered him.  He told me that he loved God but thought God had abandoned him.  I told him that the promises of God are true, and that he could depend on them - God promised to never leave us or forsake us and that His grace was sufficient for us.  To the shock and horror of my girls, Charles reached out and gave me a hug.  I hugged him back and gave him
some money.  He was so thankful.  I told him to thank God - the provision came from Him.

This kind of interaction is what I live for.  There is nothing more beautiful than sharing Jesus Christ with someone who does not know Him.  I wish you could have seen the tears in his eyes as he showed me that key.  He was proud and accomplished.  God had restored what was lost in his life.  He thought that Jesus was just in a church - but now he knows that Jesus seeks inside of him if he believes.  Passing on that kind of truth and freedom to someone else is glorious to me.  Telling him about the omnipresent nature of God -  that no matter where he is God will be also.  God loved us enough to send His son.  Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice on Calvary - because of that we can be forgiven and walk in freedom and victory.  I encourage you to take every opportunity to offer Jesus.  The holy spirit will give you the words to say.  Change someone's life by introducing them to or reacquainting them with the great liberator - Jesus the Christ........